And So IВ Write MyВ Life. Poems

Julia Shuvalova

“The poems presented here explore the themes that concern us all, regardless of age and country. Love, the meaning of life, faith, Time, our relations with other people… Poetry is a philosophical inquiry into one’s life. This inquiry, however, is of artistic nature, as we do not merely lay out our emotions and ideas, but we present them as an image, an allegory, which the reader has to decipher in order to comprehend and show empathy” – Julia Shuvalova.

And So IВ Write MyВ Life

Poems

Julia Shuvalova

© Julia Shuvalova, 2018

ISBNВ 978-5-4490-3342-0

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

ToВ my family and my friends,

with love and gratitude

Моей семье и моим друзьям,

с любовью и благодарностью

Preface

It is perhaps unusual toВ write aВ preface toВ aВ short collection ofВ poems. However, having decided toВ publish my English poems inВ aВ book, IВ thought some pre-emption was necessary.

The poems presented here explore the themes that concern us all, regardless of age and country. Love, the meaning of life, faith, Time, our relations with other people… I certainly regard poetry as a philosophical inquiry into one’s life. This inquiry, however, is of artistic nature, as we do not merely lay out our emotions and ideas, but we present them as an image, an allegory, which the reader has to decipher in order to comprehend and show empathy. Having been influenced by surrealism, as a poet I often exhibit the metaphysical outlook typical of Giorgio de Chirico, which manifests itself even better in my Russian poems. In fact, some of the poems in this collection have been translated from Russian; some were inspired by paintings, others by music.

As for the reason why one may feel the urge toВ compose poems inВ aВ foreign language, inВ my case this is not aВ demonstration ofВ my linguistic prowess. All my life IВ have been living inВ aВ bilingual world, hence it was natural toВ express myself inВ any language that felt the most appropriate. And sometimes it was appropriate toВ use the English language. My poems usually come inВ toto, so if it begins inВ English, it gets finished inВ English,В too.

InВ spite ofВ having aВ few publications under the belt, IВ was conscious ofВ delivering aВ collection inВ English, so IВ asked my friends toВ be the readers. Hence it is with their approval that IВ now happily give this book away toВ the world. My heartfelt thanks go toВ Marco Brambilla and Ardian Slatcher, who kindly agreed toВ be the first readers and gave some valuable comments.

IВ dedicate this collection toВ them and toВ my family that has always been very supportive ofВ my goals and aspirations.

Julia Shuvalova, Moscow,В 2018

THEВ WORD*[1 - Poems marked with * have been translated from Russian byВ the author]

IВ want toВ love you, but IВ know not,В how;

To call your name – but is there such a name

That may become you? ToВ the spheres above

IВ now entrust the knowledge ofВ the same.

IВ barely hope and yet IВ almostВ fear

They will have found the word, and then (alas!)

IВ will gain power over you toВ bear,

the power that no mortal everВ has.

AT THE MIRROR*[2 - Inspired by: George de la Tour, The Repentant Magdalen (Magdalena Fabius) (1635—40)]

You look into the mirror, and youВ see

The darkness underneath your loosened hair.

“What am I to myself?” – again you hear

Yourself repeating. All succumbed toВ sleep,

The elements and beasts. The moon wasВ lit

InВ the black sky. ToВ your endless steer

No healing toВ be ever found here.

Oh why have you been left alone withВ it?!

You tread inВ sadness on the dingy walk,

Not having found the meaning inВ the stock.

What is the truth? The truth, indeed, is silence.

For, having seen itself, it’s fallen mute.

And such is now the end ofВ your dispute,

Reflected in the mirror’s sad radiance.

PYGMALION*

When you possess that which you would refuse

And never have the given-up bemoaned;

Or when you mourn the