The Works of Henry Fielding, vol. 12

Henry Fielding

Henry Fielding

The Works of Henry Fielding, vol. 12

THE AUTHOR'S FARCE, ACTS I. AND II

PROLOGUE, SPOKEN BY MR JONES

Too long the Tragick Muse hath aw'd the stage,

And frighten'd wives and children with her rage,

Too long Drawcansir roars, Parthenope weeps,

While ev'ry lady cries, and critick sleeps

With ghosts, rapes, murders, tender hearts they wound,

Or else, like thunder, terrify with sound

When the skill'd actress to her weeping eyes,

With artful sigh, the handkerchief applies,

How griev'd each sympathizing nymph appears!

And box and gallery both melt in tears

Or when, in armour of Corinthian brass,

Heroick actor stares you in the face,

And cries aloud, with emphasis that's fit, on

Liberty, freedom, liberty and Briton!

While frowning, gaping for applause he stands,

What generous Briton can refuse his hands?

Like the tame animals design'd for show,

You have your cues to clap, as they to bow,

Taught to commend, your judgments have no share,

By chance you guess aright, by chance you err.

But, handkerchiefs and Britain laid aside,

To-night we mean to laugh, and not to chide.

In days of yore, when fools were held in fashion,

Tho' now, alas! all banish'd from the nation,

A merry jester had reform'd his lord,

Who would have scorn'd the sterner Stoick's word

Bred in Democritus his laughing schools,

Our author flies sad Heraclitus rules,

No tears, no terror plead in his behalf,

The aim of Farce is but to make you laugh

Beneath the tragick or the comick name,

Farces and puppet shows ne'er miss of fame

Since then, in borrow'd dress, they've pleas'd the town,

Condemn them not, appearing in their own

Smiles we expect from the good-natur'd few,

As ye are done by, ye malicious, do,

And kindly laugh at him who laughs at you.

PERSONS IN THE FARCE

MEN

Luckless, the Author and Master of the Show, … Mr MULLART. Witmore, his friend … Mr LACY.

Marplay, sen., Comedian … Mr REYNOLDS, Marplay, jun., Comedian … Mr STOPLER. Bookweight, a Bookseller … Mr JONES. Scarecrow, Scribbler … Mr MARSHAL, Dash, " " … Mr HALLAM, Quibble, " " … Mr DOVE, Blotpage, " " … Mr WELLS, jun. Index … – .

Jack, servant to Luckless … Mr ACHURCH. Jack-Pudding … Mr REYNOLDS. Bantomite … Mr MARSHAL.

WOMEN

Mrs Moneywood, the Author's Landlady … Mrs MULLART. Harriot, her daughter. … Miss PALMS.

ACT I

SCENE I. – LUCKLESS's Room in Mrs MONEYWOOD'S House. – Mrs MONEYWOOD, HARRIOT, LUCKLESS

Moneywood. Never tell me, Mr Luckless, of your play, and your play. I tell you I must be paid. I would no more depend on a benefit-night of an unacted play than I would on a benefit-ticket in an undrawn lottery. Could I have guessed that I had a poet in my house! Could I have looked for a poet under laced clothes!

Luck. Why not? since you may often find poverty under them: nay, they are commonly the signs of it. And, therefore, why may not a poet be seen in them as well as a courtier?

Money. Do you make a jest of my misfortune, sir?

Luck. Rather my misfortune. I am sure I have a better title to poverty than you; for, notwithstanding the handsome figure I make, unless you are so good to invite me, I am afraid I shall scarce prevail on my stomach to dine to-day.

Money. Oh, never fear that – you will never want a dinner till you have dined at all the eating-houses round. – No one shuts their doors against you the first time; and I think you are so kind, seldom to trouble them a second.

Luck. No. – And if you will give me leave to walk out of your doors, the devil take me if ever I come into 'em again,

Money. Pay me, sir, what you owe me, and walk away whenever you please.

Luck. With all my heart, madam; get me a pen and ink, and I'll give you my note for it immediately.

Money. Your note! who will discount it? Not your bookseller; for he has as many of your notes as he has of your works; both good lasting ware, and which are never likely to go out of his shop and his sc