Parents and grown up children

Natalia Manukhina

This book is about the difficulties that modern parents and their adult children face inВ their path. The author revealsВ the possibilities and secret ways ofВ turning communication between adult family members into aВ real pleasure.

Parents and grown up children

Natalia Manukhina

© Natalia Manukhina, 2017

ISBNВ 978-83-8126-397-9

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Preface

Dedicated toВ all ofВ us, children ofВ our parents

Introduction

…At the age of six my lifestyle as an active child was severely restricted due to heart problems caused by flu: I was no longer allowed to run, spring and jump, or scamper around the yard with other children. The limitations included skipping kindergarten and a “lifelong” exemption from physical education at school.

When I was nine Father, in spite of worries and fears of my mother, took me to swimming lessons. At the swimming pool “Moscow” (in whose place the Cathedral of Christ the Savior has been restored now) he saw an advertisement that read: “Boys and girls! If you want to become masters of sport come to the swimming instructor…” Father apparently wanted me to become a master of sport rather than an invalid, or maybe it was because he himself had learnt to swim from a teach yourself book at a mature age. Anyway, he took me to the instructor mentioned in the advertisement.

I must say that I was not doing very well. If I went swimming for two weeks, I had to stay in bed during the next four weeks. One foggy day as I was swimming in the lane (of an outdoor pool) I heard the instructor say to his assistant: “She misses more lessons than she attends. Nothing will come of her. And she yells! Her shouts make me deaf!” The assistant answered: “The girl is doing her best. She often falls ill, but she still comes to lessons. Let her train. If she can’t, she will clear out herself.” Suddenly I realized that they were speaking about me! It was me who missed the lessons, and who yelled (I could not see the instructors in a fog), it was me whom they wanted to expel. My God! It was me, who was so eager to learn to swim!

I started to disobey doctors’ orders: as soon as the temperature went down I would hurry to the swimming pool. I could miss lessons at school, but not swimming lessons. Not at any price!

As a result I “did not clear out”, but quite the contrary – at the age of eleven I became a master of sport, at 12 I was the champion of the USSR and at 14 participated in the European Championship. Everyone was surprised that “the twelve-year-old Natasha Kabanova (it is my maiden name) beat the famous Devjatova in the 200-meter butterfly!” By the way, fifteen out of the twenty members of our team became masters of sport. More than once the winners occupying all the pedestal of Moscow and USSR championships or even the top five were our team members. So we really had a first-class instructor!

All the members of the USSR national team regularly underwent a medical examination, which revealed that my heart functioned properly. Since then I have been aware that one can manage and regulate his or her own health, although it needs a lot of time and energy. Thus, I can say that my father saved my life by taking me to swimming lessons…

However, professional sports require enormous efforts. We had trainings every day all the year round plus team practice sessions, which leftВ us too little free time.

I went to the European Championship alone. It was 1970 and because of the notorious “Section 5” they did not let my instructor (who indicated his nationality as “Jewish”) go abroad. I found myself in a foreign country. We lived out of town, 25 kilometers from the swimming pool, where they took sportsmen only on competition days. Others trained themselves as they could following the plan drawn up in advance by their instructors. I did not have such plan and did not know how to make it. Consequently, I c